The Heart of the Brain
Raw & Real: For the last couple of weeks life has been extra busy, and that's okay. The challenge was coming off 2 weeks of teaching My Authentic Self I was pretty sure the depression trigger had gone off, but couldn't pin point that it had.
I kept exercising at gym, but trauma informed movement fell by the wayside. I kept telling myself I was fine provided I was getting my "work" done. i.e. the courses and clients. Today I realised I couldn't have been more incorrect.
It's been a big weekend transferring all the courses to a new platform, late nights to accommodate the need for quicker internet etc. Downloading, Uploading, Organising, and today as I'm working away, having rested, my head just about hit the desk.
That's it. I just know the depression trigger has gone. Part of me wants to be so frustrated that this trigger is SO subtle BUT each time it happens I learn more. And today was no less. Back at gym, back home to do trauma informed movement, and doing it I can literally see how my limbic system and prefrontal cortex haven't been connected properly.
Trying to coordinate movements took time. I felt dizzy, but I pushed forward. I showered and then the revelation hit me. Do you get those shower revelations? For years I've been reading how depression is driven by anger. It's been an incredibly frustrating read because I know who I am and I'm not angry.... well, consciously I'm not angry.
Those who know me well know I love my life and where all things are leading. So WHY was there this underlying sense of anger floating around in my brain? Honestly, at the moment, no clue. BUT I will put the pieces together I promise you. Why? Because if I can put the framework together of the neurobiology, the psychology, etc then we all feel safe to feel it and build an enormous pool of love into our brain, into our life, and no more unconscious, triggered reactions.
The Anterior Cingulate Cortex, the ACC, is the part of our brain that acts as the heart of the brain, keeping the limbic system and prefrontal cortex in balance. If we can continue to build the feeling of love into our hearts and mind, we can (scientifically proven) regenerate our cells. Blood flow plays a large role in this too.
When we've been on frozen mode for decades we have to be willing to move our body's, despite how we're feeling. Not easy, but always worth it.
Blessings and dreams,