Notes on doing Challenging Steps
As I sit at my desk a myriad of emotions are flowing through my heart, my mind, and tears are not far away. Tears I want to shed, yet my breathing is making it hard. Do I shallow breathe and hold onto the excitement or do I take in deep breaths and let the excitement and tears flow?!
I'm writing as I don't know! Both options feel wonderful and my reality is I'm sitting here, alone, grinning like a Cheshire cat. You know, the one that ate all the cream, but still has some on its whiskers for the world to see.
You see, the last 24 hours have been a battle for me. All year I've tried and tried to get my course Awakening Your Soul online, for printing, and all year it has just seemed way to hard. Yesterday, I ceased letting the appearance of it all being too hard stop me from starting the process.
The last 24 hours have been like one miracle after another. It's been like connecting dots that I didn't even know were waiting for me to connect. I didn't know you could do print on demand products, I didn't know how to add free shipping to my products, and I certainly didn't know how to put all of that in order on my website.
This morning, I cracked the code! And it was all a lot easier than anything to do with computer coding. I reached out for help online, I experimented, I got frustrated but more than anything I didn't let the fear that floats through my mind conquer me.
It wasn't easy. As I sat to begin the work this morning I could feel the pressure in my head, literally. The pressure that appears with depression, and I'd been at the gym already. Exercise does not conquer those things we need to address as a soul.
This pressure in my head always makes me feel like I have a desperate need to go and lie down and sleep. I called the pressures bluff this morning. I didn't go straight into the area of work that's causing me stress, I began first with some easy graphics work that I love and enjoy. By the time I'd finished the graphics work I was smiling, happy and enjoying my work.
Then I attacked the work I didn't know how to do, that I didn't have an order for. I struggle with putting things in an order but today has helped me understand I don't need to know the order, just explore my options first, then I can choose the order I want things in.
Fear, soul crushing, soul smothering fear appearing like a prison with no window, did not win the battle this morning. I have now completed the set up on my website for my products that I wanted and the tears of joy over my victory slip gently down my face. I won! The dream for my life, for you, for all of us, is on it's way to the beginning of fulfilment.
I'm so close to having this Life Manual up and available I want to do a happy dance! For now, all the back end, out of sight work that no one but me sees is done. I think lunch is in order and some grounding so I can relish in the excitement that today fear didn't win, depression didn't win. I created my own door out of the windowless prison of fear and I know have experienced that I can do it again. Repeatedly.
Blessings and dreams,