In the End


In the end I had to understand it wasn’t about the lies, it was about how I was being treated. If I chose to stay my children would learn they could disrespect me too, that they could treat me with anger, have rages at me, not communicate with me and more.

My mind did perpetual loops. Making life changing decisions never comes easy for any of us. Ever. What I held onto was the bigger picture I had for my life, for my kids lives, the future.

I wanted to be a family where everyone could be loved and respected, valued. Where peace and laughter ruled. Where the willingness to communicate through every challenge life would throw at us came first. Where love ruled no matter what the day brought.

For that big vision to happen I had to be willing to take a massive risk and step out of an uncomfortable comfort zone. The only way I could do that is in faith. Faith and hope that I’d see the doors I needed to open, that I could learn what my kids needed me to learn and we could all make our way through the journey together.

It wasn’t easy. Nothing worth it is ever easy. Fifteen years later we have a wonderful bond, all of us, and my decision to leave the uncomfortable comfort zone has ensured my now adult children will have healthy relationships, know not to be treated disrespectfully and know how to choose to communicate through the challenges life brings.

Whether we have kids or not we all have a vision for our future. The vision helps us make the uncomfortable decisions . Our faith gives us the strength we need when everything around us falls apart. The rebuild is one step at a time, one day at a time. Especially when we have to walk away from the dream we had built a whole different life around.

The rebuild is not just about our external world, it’s our internal world that gets a rebuild too. Wounds emerge and we need to be real and raw about them. Stuffing them down just contributes to ongoing pain and an inability to see the same type of person coming along again.

When we address our internal wounds we begin to value ourselves, our lives, our vision and where we’re headed and we know we will never tolerate being treated disrespectfully ever again. We’ll make sure our heart is full to overflowing before we have anyone else in our lives. When our heart is full to overflowing we don’t make excuses for other people’s bad treatment of us. We don’t settle, we don’t make excuses for bad behaviour, we don’t tolerate toxic people.

It’s ok to step away and let someone find their feet in their own life’s journey. It’s ok to step to the side and have some space and see what unfolds, it’s ok to take time to breathe and regroup, it’s ok to need acknowledge we need more than a few moments to refill our hearts and address our own wounds too.

Do it all afraid, do it terrified, do it without knowing the one next step and lean fully into your faith because we know who works ALL things together for good in a vision bigger than we can even begin to imagine. Do it because He risked it all for us and He’s the one that holds our life together in His abundant love.

Is it time to get your brave on?

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