Complex Ptsd: Triggered!
Triggered! And I'm falling asleep at 11 in the morning. How damn frustrating. Again. The capacity for the chemistry in my brain to shut me down on a day when I had work planned never ceases to amaze me. They shut me down even after going to the gym and doing a 30 minute session on the bike PLUS half an hour of Trauma Informed Movement at home, in safety.
The chemicals in my brain are POWERFUL. More powerful than a strong mind and a strong will. I know this because I possess both a strong mind and a strong will in an abundance.
I sat and began looking at what exactly had me triggered and I worked on understanding why. I'm already aware my Complex Trauma is multifaceted. A lack of nurturing plus unresolved trauma passed across the placenta, plus the exposure to physical, sexual and emotional abuse at a young age meant my brain developed differently to an individual who did not experience trauma.
I wanted to write a whole blog of the in's and outs of being triggered. It's 5 days later and so much has happened. The one thing I'm very aware of is that the more I aim to do the more my brain keeps going down old neural pathways and being triggered.However, I'm going to keep doing gym and the trauma informed movement as it is working. I may not be on my best all day, and need a rest here and there, but I know I'm feeling better inside of me.From what I can see at the moment, the only way into further recovery is to keep going and developing new neural pathways through the trauma informed movement.I'll let you know how it goes!