Codependence ~ A Significant Journey
Codependence ~ Many years ago I read, learnt about and experienced codependence in my life. The initial book I read was by Pia Mellody called Facing Codependence, Melody Beattie also has a few good books on Codependence as well.
However, I need more information. And if there's one truth it's that over time everything is evolving and we learn and understand more. The key word in the title of this workbook is Significance - the quality of being worthy of attention; importance.
I've found relationships challenging over the years with Codependence part of the toxic outcome of my childhood. There can be no denying we lack self-worth and have a wound from the lack of attention that happened throughout our childhood. Add trauma into this mix and you've got a wound waiting to be healed right down to our human spirit.
Upon researching information for this, especially around the Christian environment for the spiritual aspect to be included, there were books on Significance for successful businessmen written by men. I note this not to cast shade but to help us understand that as women we do need the heartfelt female perspective in what we do and learn.
Coming out of the trauma of childhood sexual abuse, especially when it's by a male, can rewire our brain to believe we have to be like them to have any Significance. A return to our feminine soul is more natural, no matter how this appears outwardly.
I was a tomboy most of my life, I understood men's thinking better than women, and had lots of male friendships as I found them "easier" to understand and relate too. On learning about the feminine part of my soul it doesn't make me any less driven in my work life, or competitive when I play games with the kids, but what it does do is allow me to be the WHOLE of me, not just one side of my self.
For me, the adding the wholeness of my feminine self into the equation of my day to day life, allows me to dispense of walls I don't need, allows me to feel safe to just be me and gives me a deep sense of worthiness not found in just embracing the masculine side of me.
Many years have passed on this self awareness, wound healing journey and part of my heart wishes I understood this aspect a long time ago. But perhaps I needed to be full on strength to get my kids and myself through the challenges we faced. Strength is a fantastic quality and when we add kindness in we can have peace, love, joy and a deep abiding faith that no matter where we are or what we set out to do, we can indeed finish the mission!
Blessings and dreams,