Boundaries, Challenges & Change
by Linda Meredith
One of our greatest challenges with Complex Ptsd is teaching ourselves where we need boundaries, where we need to say no, and when we need to let others know how they can and can't treat us.
I can let you know from experience that none of this easy because people are used to us letting them walk over the top of us. We didn't know any better because childhood developmental trauma meant our brains formed differently to someone who was raised with a secure attachment.
This means the chemistry in our brain has different reactions implanted from years ago, and we are the only ones who can work towards understanding and experiencing a new way of living and experiencing life.
Human beings being human beings don't automatically embrace change. We have a challenging time with the changes and the self awareness we need therefore those around us will also be challenged by the changes we make for ourselves.
One of the best ways to get this change happening is through communication. If there's tears involved, grab a box of kleenex but keep communicating. Draw lines in the sand around any blaming, around anyone projecting anger and let everyone have their say before any decisions are made.
Yes, it will take time, but it will be worth it in the long run. My adult kids have been fantastic with me. I taught them emotions, communication and self awareness, so now they're adults they call me out on aspects of myself that I need to become aware of. This is love, doing the hard stuff together.
Be brave, take the step, and build curiosity and courage into your heart this coming year. It'll help lay a foundation to increased resilience plus more supportive relationships long term. You get to decide your direction, and your friends and family decide their directions.
Be brave, take risks, and don't stop learning how to connect, be consistent and becoming increasingly curious.
Blessings and dreams,